Secret Wars – Comic Book Genocide: Review

As a writer I daresay I have at least somewhat of an idea what storytelling means. I hope I can differentiate good stories from bad stories, good ideas from bad ones. So believe me when I tell you that Secret Wars is one of the worst pieces of storytelling ever, filled with bad ideas and stupid decisions.

The blame lies not with the individual writers, however. The blame lies with editorial. I refuse to believe that one day a group of writers went to the editorial staff and proposed this event. It has all the hallmarks of a higher up decision, probably on a corporate level.

Allow me to explain: Marvel CEO Ike Perlmutter is a whiny crybaby, cheap bastard and overall petty human being. Rumor has it he is so angry at FOX for not returning the X-Men movie rights that he informed the Marvel Comics editorial to cut down on X-Men and Fantastic Four material as much as possible.

Whether this rumor is true or not does not matter to me. What matters is that there is no F4 book out right now and the X-Men are being decimated, with their ultimate death already teased in the upcoming Death of X event. Instead, Marvel is pushing the Inhmans greatly because they are similar enough to explore similar themes but they are owned by Marvel and not FOX. And wouldn’t you know, it is the Inhmans’ fault that the X-Men are dying: The Inhumans have something called Terriginesis which changes them from human to inhuman and a while ago, worldwide Terriginesis happened due to a cloud of mist. And Mutants from the X-Men comics are allergic to that cloud, resulting in injury and death.

Secret Wars is another stepping stone in taking down everything that made the Marvel Universe great. It serves one purpose, and one alone: Genocide. The entire Ultimate Universe, with the sole exception of Miles Morales and his friends has been destroyed, seven billion people dead and the Fantastic Four disbanded, all under the banner of shaking the Marvel Universe to its core. If killing somebody to further alter another character is called fridging, how do we call this, then?

Individual Secret Wars comics are not badly written. Most writers over at Marvel are very great, very talented people who know their stuff. But as a whole, the entire concept is bad comics. It only served the purpose of marketing, selling merchandise and variant covers and of course phazing out shit big Ike doesn’t like. If you skip Secret Wars alltogether and just read the comics before and after it, you will literally continue without a hitch, without any information missing and without a problem – Daredevil being one of the very few exceptions but that’s more due to a jump forward in time and not due to Secret Wars.

In the end, the entire event amounted to nothing. Absolutely nothing. This entire sentence, I think, sums up Marvel’s biggest problem at the moment, really. It’s like nothing they do matters anymore.

Bottom line: If you want your Marvel fix, go watch their films and TV/Netflix Shows since those are actually very good. Their comics? I used to read 15, now I read 3. I used to love Spider-Man, now I long for Spider-Man 2099 to return to his time and not interact with anyone in the Marvel Universe anymore since those people are no longer the people I knew and fell in love with.

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One Response to Secret Wars – Comic Book Genocide: Review

  1. Shane Skekel says:

    The second and third paragraphs summarize what happened to J Michael Straczinski during One More Day’s production.

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