A statement to videogame companies

After reading what Ubisoft had to say about Wii U support, I came to one simple conclusion: Those people have no idea what they are actually doing, and here’s why:

Ubisoft just said that people don’t buy Assassin’s Creed on Wii U. And they are completely right about that, no question. I love Assassin’s Creed and I would never buy it on a Nintendo console. So where is the problem, you might ask? Well, let me explain.

Nintendo fans missed out on Assassin’s Creed for years. The first four were not released on Nintendo consoles and thus the DS spinoff titles did not sell well. Now the first AC game released on a Nintendo platform was AC3 – a poor excuse for a game that, at launch, did not even function. It was a broken mess and then they ported this broken mess very badly to Wii U, making it even WORSE, decided not to release most DLC for it and the DLC they did release came broken and way too late – by the time the game was released everyone already had it on other systems and the same goes for the DLC. Nintendo fans never had a chance to build into a fanbase for the game. So how would that clusterfuck of a game sell?

Now AC4 was released at the same time but it was by far the worst version and they never got DLC on Wii U in the first place. Furthermore, every Nintendo gamer knows that Nintendo games don’t drop in price but Ubisoft games do just after a few weeks. So why bother buying it for 60 bucks when I can get it for 20 a few weeks later? And don’t even get me startd on practices like Rayman Legends or Watch Dogs. Rayman Legends would have sold well on WIi U but Ubisoft jsut had to delay it and port it to other consoles, bloating it’s budget. Guess what? Nobody bought it. The Wii U version sold the best, it would have sold more if it was an exclusive and probably would have been a success. And Watch Dogs, a game that is a boring mess, was delayed on Wii U for so long most people who even still remember it (which is not a lot) are even questioning if it is ever released. It comes as a bad port with no DLC and will not sell well. So why even bother? Make it the best version or scrap it.

Ubisofts own business practices came back around and bit them in the ass. They annualized a franchise, this caused the quality to drop, prices to increase and the dumb masses buy but as soon as that bubble bursts (or on that case never got inflated) nobody buys and they don’t make a profit. They are quick to point to the Wii U and the consumer for blame but fail to realize/don’t care that they are to blame themselves. If I walk over to you, slap my cock in your face and then proceed to try and sell you my urine for 60 bucks I can hardly complain that you are a moron who doesn’t want my product. You are right to not want that product.

And here lies the main problem: Game development has become so bloated that it has no worth anymore. ZombiU was an actual effort, a good game even, and it sold almost 700 000 units, which is not much by Ubisoft standards so it was considered a failure. Or that Tomb Raider fiasco, where a game sold almost 5 million copies and was still considered a failure because of the bloated development.

And then there is EA, who stomped Nintendo support completely, something I am not sad about, really. All they did for the last few years was releaseing horrible port after horrible port and wonder why it didn’t sell. They released ONE good game, Need for Speed Most Wanted U and of course it did not sell because people thought it was a horrible port (it is not, it is a fantastic port and the best console version there is) of a game that the rest of the world got a year earlier. So why even bother? The thing is, Nintendo gamers are not as stupid as the regular crowd – not by choice, mind you.

We were treated badly by thrid parties for years that we became wary of them. You can’t use your fucked up tactics to sell consumer unfriendly shit with us – we know and thus don’t buy. We buy games that are actually good, not the same old shooter in a new setting – fuck shooters to be honest. We are the first wave of consumers that will end you – metaphorically – as we are those you can’t buy with flashy graphics and lots of advertising – we actually care if a game is any good and if a company cares about us. You can try your fowl, gaming ruining tactics with us but you will fail. And in a few years, when people, still stupid, will realize they have been fooled for decades, they will follow our example and your big triple A bublbe will burst under the waves and you will die. So get used to that.

(Throws Columbo Voice) Oh and one more thing: I am by no means a Nintendo fanboy. I own a PlayStation 3, a gaming PC and a tablet. Trust me, I know my way around games. This is the first console generation I’ll go Nintendo only! The first in decades! You assholes managed to ruin gaming so hard I’d rather go outside and play with sticks in the sand (metaphorically) than play one of your games. So congratulations on that, dumbfucks.

My gaming setup for the next few years will be my Wii U and 3DS for Nintendo products and a few indie games (I love indies) and a gaming PC for all the multiplatform, big releases. And if a PC version is shoddy, there is always another way that does not involve me spending 60 bucks on a shitty product. And if a game is not available on PC or my tablet or my 3DS or my Wii U then so be it and I will not play that game. But truth be told, with all those shooters coming out (fuck them) I doubt there will even be an exclusive game I want.

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One Response to A statement to videogame companies

  1. Shane Skekel says:

    It looks like UbiSoft and Electronic Arts aren’t learning from their mistakes. Oh, and I agree completely on the glut of First-Person shooters. The only FPS games that I enjoyed from the past ten years are the Metroid Prime Trilogy, .kkrieger, and The Conduit. (Though to be honest I did forward to Doom 3.)

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